You can’t imagine it, the singer states. At that moment preparing for her new album launch in nearly a decade, deeply enamored with her newish partner, and finally the parent to a young child after facing fertility challenges for ten years, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was told she had a breast cancer diagnosis.
The singer-songwriter, actual name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The album, her latest release, was intended as an transparent story, tackling every bit of hardship she’d endured since she last made an album (endometriosis, miscarriage, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The initial release, the song No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Then next release, Living My Best Life, debuted in May and the artist was giving interviews about how she was thriving, while still secretly living with breast cancer. Subsequently she disclosed her condition, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.
She offers me her best “Seriously?” glance. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every interview, and they ask, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” she has just had to call off performances because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a studio in London. She is dressed in a light brown synthetic jacket, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, off-white boots and big frames. Think motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “I feel like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Like the film, I say, referencing the film. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. Cornish is fast-thinking, unfiltered and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is hoping to make her first comedy performance in the coming year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I frequently joke about the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was planning an appearance at the ceremony when she discovered a mass. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an scan, and they said, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. I have arm pain and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The physician told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was okay. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from releasing the album after years away and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I was, like, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be positive, and she says, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘Unfortunately but your biopsy results have come back as malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She found the surgery terrifying and absurd. “I hate being put under. They walk you down. In urgent cases you go on a gurney, but then I just strolled down with a medical attire and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the op. “Cancer sucks, man, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my affected breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “The nipple was preserved.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her boobs, she notes, are now “different sizes. The implant is larger than before. How rude! I thought, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be perfect. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is no stranger to illness. She thinks her attitude toward illness has been so positive because she’s familiar with health crises. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or blow, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Truly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside moments of success for me; a serious or unusual issue has impacted my body.”
She recalls to her childhood, already starting her career performing in the London theater in the production (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and young Jessica has become part of the trio Soul Deep while attending the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a collision and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Wow, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
